Dragon Hide

I have been participating in summer women's fellowship with some of my dearest friends on Thursday nights. We read Divine Mentor by Wayne Cordeiro, and began reading the same passages of scripture, and then journaling according to his recommended method of note-taking and analysis. We get together each week to discuss what the scripture has spoken into our hearts, and we are all blessed by each other. I know it continues to bless me abundantly every day, and Thursday night is rapidly becoming my favorite night of the week. If you are interested in attending, or just following along on the blog, the reading plan is listed here: http://summerwomensfellowship.blogspot.com .

In a spirit of transparency, here is a journal entry of mine from this week:

Scripture: Ephesians 4:17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.

Observation: This week, Ephesians 4 calls for unity in the body of believers, reminding us that God equips us according to His purpose. We are called to grow up, to stop being children and to know God in a more mature way.

Growing up in Christ is not about education or works that we do in order to become like Him. It isn't the futility of our minds that we need, but a discipline of our hearts. We are called to put off our old, sinful ways, and to put on a new way, a way of holiness and righteousness.

Again, none of that "new way" is a work for us to do, but is God's very nature changing us from the inside out as partakers in the nature of God. Filled with His Spirit, the two natures are not compatible! As we allow God to work in our hearts, He will evict the sin nature that hangs on with claws, attached to our deepest desires. It is like Eustace in C. S. Lewis' The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, clawing at his dragon-self. We can scratch and claw, but until Aslan tears it away and washes us clean, we are still in our dragon hide.

Application: I am so very very guilty of a works-righteousness mentality. Goals and lists of what "to do" are supposed to fix my need for physical appearance, household things...all the "stuff" that draws my focus. If only I were thin, able to run a marathon, a gourmet chef, had a landscaped lawn, a zillion finished quilts, a decorated home, lovely furnishings...a perfectly planned school year, an organized classroom, ideal classroom management style...on and on goes my list of "if onlys" to make me content. BUT I WOULD NOT FIND CONTENTMENT THERE.

None of these desires are bad things, but by allowing them to draw my focus, I have made them into dragon hide I can only scratch. The true issue is that what I really want--freedom, glory, power, recognition, comfort, honor, praise, worship--is to be lord of my own life. To be Queen, and to take away the true Kingship and Authority that is Christ's. I battle for the throne, and in doing so, I am like a child playing dress-up, or throwing a temper-tantrum, trying to get my own way! Doesn't my heavenly Father know what is best for me? Doesn't He provide me with every good thing? What about the Gospel don't I believe?!?

Prayer: Lord, help me put off my old self, and renew me in the spirit of my mind, and put on my new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Change my desires to your desires. You love me, Amen.